When I was young and living in Wales, we naturally had a coal fire. Each year we children would write our Christmas wishes on a piece of paper, which we put up the chimney for Santa to find and act upon. Most wishes were for bikes, Davey Crocket hats, Magic Robots, train sets, and suchlike. By brother, Brian, had other ideas. He clearly had grievances. Trouble was, his problems involved his younger brother: me! He made no bones about it in his note to Santa, either, which has been carefully preserved during the intervening years (going on sixty now!).
He writes,
To fatherxmas,
David sxi is note
pleas dont bring toys
becous he wount
lendt his toys
t henebody
The rotter didn't even have the guts to sign his treacherous note, but he did have the gall to underline it.
So much for the season of brotherly love…
Take time out to spare a thought for the turkeys in the turkey farms, all reading in the latest edition of the Turkey Times about the forthcoming Great Turkey Christmas Outing: We won't say where we'll be taking you, but we promise you a hot time and that you'll be the centre of attention.
Little do they know…
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